CRASHING, BURNING n LEARNING is a space for me to 1. share the work I create that doesn't fit the narrative film mould, and to 2. document these projects, big and small, in the hopes that the next person might see something pretty in all the mess. As this section evolves I intend for it to become a place where I can explore and document a range of creative ideas, celebrate the imperfections, and find comfort within the process.
- N̶o̶t̶e̶s̶ ̶(̶o̶n̶g̶o̶i̶n̶g̶)̶
Untitled (Boon Wurrung Country)
Stretching the creative legs. Think this one's gonna be a slow work in progress. It felt nice to be playing again - tinkering away until one lands on what feels like the ideal position to capture a 15 second image of the world.
There's always something liberating about finding oneself back in this space again. Able to try and fail, sit with footage for a few weeks, abandon it, come back and play around again, see something new.. everything else that exists in that cycle, before finally working up the excitement to do the whole exercise again.
And so I will. A date with the camera, pencilled into the diary. (03/02/22)
'Losing Ground' Video Essay
video essay, 2019
Included as part of the 2018 Emerging Writers' Festival, this video essay unpacks some of my thoughts regarding black film, centering one of my favourite films of all time, Losing Ground.
Let's call this one a 'work in progress'... I've been meaning to go back and revise both the edit and the essay itself. Having read Collins' books since completing this piece ('Whatever Happened to Interracial Love?' and 'Notes from a Black Woman's Diary') it feels necessary to do a 2.0 that includes the new seeds of inspiration her work has sown in me.
'Practicing My Serve'
We had two rolls of film, a half day in a studio, and a concept I'd been twiddling my thumbs over for about a year. Practicing My Serve was built around a prose I'd written and archived about the ~grey~ area. My never coming around to releasing it was probably due to a couple of things; the concept and footage was so loose that the piece was one of those never ending puzzles that could've been (and was) cut in 1000 different ways, a part of me was also inhibited by the content itself. I'd written what was essentially a letter to my younger self about feelings that had lingered through my adolescence... It was cathartic, yes, but too vulnerable for a piece I couldn't lock down an edit on. One day it may take on a more official form of life, but for now it shall exist as just the ingredients.
light black, dark white
off the top mochinated mix cappucino latte looking
baby in your brown skin you look liminal
you look lost
criminal looking, dark dark, black white, lips so full and precious
oo I can't wait to take a picture
my friends are gonna freak when they hear about your pain
vacant stare wearing, wearing down walls of self confidence
to fit the shade of your skin
for your colour changes with your crowd,
and your idea of home is a fractured concept
'Through To You' Music Video
music video, 2017
Second year film school and the chance to work with Sony. Feeling like a big dog at 19 (s/o Mark).
This was the first time I'd worked with a music label, and on a music video that wasn't just myself, one friend, and a janky camera. Despite having a budget that was bigger than anything I'd worked with at the time ($2,500AUD), this shoot was still very much one of those 'call in the favours and do as much ourselves as possible' kinda shoots. 'As much ourselves as possible' would mean starting the day unloading a gear truck up four flights of stairs with just myself and my co-producer. Despite the tight turnaround, we planned, we prepared, and we edited everything on schedule. The shoot was either a 14 or a 17 hr day (the number escapes me now), and the couple featured was a real couple irl - something I definitely learnt to appreciate on this shoot.
'From Now 'til Then' A Brief Reflection on Institutional Racism
I was commissioned to write a piece for Screenhub unpacking institutional racism within Australia, with a particular focus on film and media. Excerpt below.
"After the main tide of the day had rolled through, brown heads in worn cleaner’s uniforms and stealthy security guard jackets would begin to roam the halls. If I was staying late editing I would catch these faces, and in that moment when we passed each other in the corridors, we would become the majority.
I’d leave my undergrad with high enough grades to feel accomplished, and enough survivor’s guilt to push me deeper into reflection. In accepting my degree did I become part of the system? Aware of its blatancy, am I complicit in agreeing to these standards we seemingly accept?
This year I’ve spent looking back at home from the outside. Despite Los Angeles providing a precarious view, having time to reflect in a world so far out of my own has offered me new perspectives. Having spent so much time consuming American media in search of the answers to my own teen identity, it feels ironic being here now and having all the differences be ever so clear. "
Full piece available on Screenhub website.
'Better' Music Video
music video, 2020
A tri-continental collaboration. With Allysha in Australia, the label in the UK, and myself in America, we take on an unconventional approach when conceptualising the visuals for 'Better'. Allysha and I had long back and forth's about the song's message and what she hoped listeners would take away from it. In part due to budget, we got got creative with the output, deciding to explores message through visual metaphor, breaking it up into two sections; the global and the personal.
(One for the Archives)
Twenty twenty was a year spent deep in reflection. A year spent deeply grateful for the love of friends and family. How those bonds often blur and how those relationships, fortunate in all my privilege, continue to be scattered across the globe in beautiful ways.
In Los Angeles a certain friend would inspire me to rediscover a deep love, for the craft. We dusted off the old Bolex and got playing again. Like children in a sandpit.
These are memories I'll always treasure. This piece is an artefact. A legacy piece. One for the family, to remind us of what's most important.
Shot by yours truly.